Excuse you...! This series of short stories is partly inspired by the antics of Facebook feline legends, Felix and Willow, and partly by my totally insane, cat-like Great Dane, Echo Eloquence (yes, that's his actual name). I am Pharaoh Ramses Feline IV, a direct descendent of royalty. And this is how I spend my ninth life? Trapped inside the body of a sloppy, slobbery, stinky, unsophisticated canine? Why does it pant so much? Cats don’t pant. They glower. Worst of all, I have a sudden craving to drink out of the servants’ kitty litter, which, for some inexplicable reason, is a large bowl full of water. That’s disgusting. Unacceptable … yet somehow deeply thirst quenching. I then trot into the living room and shake my massive head, spraying walls, furniture and humans with thick strands of saliva streaked with remnants of dinner. Pure genius. It is particularly gratifying when the female servant groans in disgust, and the male servant shakes his head with despair. Hmm ... Perhaps...